My job is more important!

Touche! You had me at pig farm.

And in case you forgot, I’m at work too! And though your ever important job of photoshopping the back fat off of unsightly tourists (or whatever it is you do) keeps you busy, lest you forget, if I don’t stay focused the state of the entire free world - and democracy - will crumble.

Plus, I just got an assignment to write about phony Facebook profiles, so stop giving me stomach pains.

- A.N.