I hate clay.

S and M and JJ and I did clay masks last night while watch Law and Order SVU and eating cookies. Intense clay masks. Like our faces were burning red after washing it off.

Point: since when is clay that intense?! Isn’t wet clay like the weakest matter on the planet. It’s like clay is battling it out with earthworms for the least intimitdating thing around and wins because the worm would die of boredom while waiting for the clay to be interesting.

-CN

Yeah, I meant you’re creating the confuse-a-thon for me.

Oh THAT photo… you can bet your bottom dollar it was from that beach bonfire before Max left for gay Pairee. Tomorrow, tomorrow, I’ll send you that photo tomorrow. (And by tomorrow I mean today when I get home.)

I’m with you on the Aunty Mame, though. When I had a gay coworker, he made me burn a DVD copy for him cause it was the BEST movie ever! So I went into watching it thinking, This is going to be the BEST movie ever! Moral of story: not all gay men have exceptional taste. Should have clued in when he showed me the BEST new shoes ever! which were second-hand orange, chunky, platformy sneakers. Shudder….

 -C.N. 

No, you’re the one that’s confused……..

Not the photo that appears on our page, but the smaller image that appears elsewhere. You know what I’m talking about?

Anyway, I hate Annie because it’s an annoying movie. It’s like the time I rented Auntie Mame and couldn’t even be bothered to watch it. I also couldn’t be bothered to return it and that stupid movie cost me a lot of money.

I have work gas. So the worst. Whoever invented open-concept work spaces should die.

Confuse-a-thon

Uh,

That photo was from boxing day, wait till I get home;
Are you vying for martyr points with that quote thar, O Godly one;
It’s not “How can YOU not like the SoM?” it’s “How can you not like it?!” as in of course everybody loves it, duh. Inclusive of the you.

And what do you have against Annie? It had better not be the red hair, or leapin’ lizards, I’m going to start quoting it regularly within normal conversation to the point where you won’t be able to imagine me without a curly mop and a shiny-pated old man wanting to take advantage of what’s between my choreogrpahy-friendly, knee-socked gambs.

(PS: you do know that I had a dog named Sandy, right?)

-C.N.

Send it to me

Hey,

When is that profile picture of us from? It seems old. Send me the non-blacked out version please.

-A.N.

Wait, what?

Did I ever say I didn’t like the Sound of Music? I think you’re thinking of the time I said that I hated “Annie.”

Which is true, I do hate Annie. 

The other day K told me he hates movies in black and white.

-A.N.

Shut up yo face

So I think I might still have mustard on my face from my lunch ‘dog.

-A.N.

23 Days

Is that the usual grace period after a death before your deceased lover’s workplace hints at you taking over his old job?

-C.N. 

Christmas

How can you NOT love the Sound of Music?! It’s like all the problems in the word can be solved by Julie Andrews and her vocal chords.

I last watched it on TV on Christmas. (So uplifting after your drunken ex-boyfriend won’t stop calling you and you basically have to inform him he might be an alcoholic and should never talk to you again.)

I was with my dad and it was like, HEY TV! cause we were alone in his giant new scary house and don’t actually really have a relationship.
Then he told me he has Diabetes.

-C.N.

Worser

The time there was blood on the bathroom walls at work.

- A.N.

Worse

Sushi from the food court that tastes like a rubberized vagina and costs $12.

- A.N.

Which is worse?

1) Co-worker’s lunch smelling like a geriatric hospital just came out of the microwave, complete with loose skin, dead hair, urine and liquid proteins.

2) Someone in the building feeling as though putting the toilet lid down somehow makes up for the fact that they were too lazy to flush a floaty. Or perhaps they were just trying to turn it into a surprise! gift?

-C.N.